dude i'm inner monologue high
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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