after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We left the knife in your bed.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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