Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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