Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I am spending my child support on dildos
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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