I showed him my bush... on skype.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
