things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
