Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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