i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
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