It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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