Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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