i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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