I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
