That's intense
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
