Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
