i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
