He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
