Yo dont text me then not text me
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
