is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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