This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
