His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You can't just leave with hair like that
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
