Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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