she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize