Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
