I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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