The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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