even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
