I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
worst night to have a conscience
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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