We won't sleep together?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
