As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
