I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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