Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I party with great urgency now.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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