you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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