That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
How naked do you want me to be?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
