I wish I could punch you in the face.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
