yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
