All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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