I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
