Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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