I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
