We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
