very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize