I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
