Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
