yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
