I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
it was like eating out sand paper
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize