she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
