porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
