so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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