Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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