Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize