i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
