You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
