Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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