I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
