Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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