TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
