Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
