Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
