I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Randomize
