yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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