i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
