On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
