Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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