i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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