"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
