pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
