I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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