Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize