A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
